I'm Back

Hi Readers! I have no good reason to have stopped writing for months on end but I'm back and ready to roll. I've had a wonderful summer of family gatherings, bachelorette parties, bridal showers, and weddings. As always the summer months went entirely too fast.

I have to say that I've had several readers ask me to get back on the bandwagon of writing so thank you for the encouragement. I've had several personal experiences over the summer that have been good "blog" ideas. Real-life situations that I've experienced include spotting women wearing white to weddings as a guests, how much to spend on a wedding/shower gift if I know I'm not attending the actual wedding, to pet-walking etiquette (thanks Beth G and Ashley S)! Have you had any questionable etiquette dilemmas this summer? Send ideas my way and we'll explore it all together.

This is a picture of my good friend Stacie (who is engaged and getting hitched in June) and me. We were in our friend Molly's wedding in July...in boiling hot Georgia. We had a wonderful time and the wedding was beautiful.

Happy Autumn Readers!
Leigh

Tech-savvy Travlers

Hi Readers! A friend posted this article on their Facebook page and I thought it was so timely with my last blog post. Here is the link - check it out! Click here to read.

Cleared for Departure

I’m getting back on the traveling theme tonight in the spirit of a business trip coming up next week. Flying, no matter for what occasion, always gives me anxiety. I’m not scared to fly, but the whole event of packing, going to the airport, checking in, going through security, and waiting for the inevitable delay always puts me on edge. I’ve got flying down to a science though. I know exactly where to go, and if I don’t I’m just looking for the next sign to point me in the right direction. I don’t dillydally; I try and get through it all as quickly as possible. My husband can attest to the fact that I just have no patience with the “novice/clueless travelers” who don’t know where they are going, aren’t organized, and most importantly get in my way.

I have to give airports credit – these days they do make it much smoother for us “expert travelers.” The first time I saw the new security-line system I was ecstatic. For those of you who don’t know what I’m referring to they have three lines now – one for families that are traveling (i.e. strollers), one for casual travelers and one for expert travelers. Why it took nearly 40 years for that to happen is beyond me, but I digress. In addition to the new lines you have the sky caps outside to check your luggage, avoiding all sorts of chaos inside, you don’t have to check a bag (heck it costs money to do so anyway), and you can already have your boarding pass with you before you even enter the airport – nirvana! This means the time actually spent in the airport can be minimal before arriving at your gate. I’ve made it through in 10 minutes at Midway in Chicago (I also know about the security check points “hidden” off to the side)!

Now, there is proper etiquette to follow when traveling. Wouldn’t it be wonderful if everyone read this blog so they would make our traveling experiences more enjoyable? Here is the skinny from Peggy Post on airport etiquette and some general guidelines to follow.

• First off, lower your expectations before even heading to the airport – expect the worst and maybe it won’t be so bad.
• Be pleasant – the airport workers aren’t the ones delaying your flight or changing the weather.
• Follow the rules – if you break any then you’re only going to hold yourself up and others.
• Check with the airline’s web site on bag size and weight limits before you pack. Also, find out how many carry on items you can have. (I literally saw one woman emptying her suitcase in the middle of the American Airlines check in space with her clothes all over the floor because her bag was too heavy– did I mention there were about 800 people in line behind her!! AHHHH!!!)
• Make a habit of writing out a checklist of everything you need to pack before you start: wardrobe, toiletries, personal or business documents, tickets, and your ID.
• Be alert when going through the security line. Have your boarding pass and ID out and ready.
• As soon as you can take off your shoes, jewelry, and other small items (also remember to wear an outfit on travel day that is easy to travel in – i.e. lose the belt if you can, wear slip on shoes, little or no jewelry etc.).
• Take out your laptop from its case beforehand so you don’t have to fumble with it on the security line.
• Retrieve you items from the security conveyor belt and get out of the way to reassemble everything – don’t’ be a bottleneck.
• When you arrive at your gate find a seat and don’t put your bag in another empty seat – you could be taking up spots for other people.
• Be polite when using your cell phone – keep conversations short if possible and walk away from the congested area – no one wants to hear your conversation.
• When boarding stand clear of the gate – only walk up when it is your turn.
• BE ORGANIZED - bottom line - be prepared, have everything with you, know where you're going, be alert and aware of your surroundings, and be respectful of those around you.

There is much more to talk about but I will wait for future posts to delve deeper into other aspects of flying the friendly skies. I'll even give advice on how to politely avoid the chatty seat mate.

What are your tips for happy and stress-free traveling? A drink at the bar beforehand? Headphones? Share your nightmare stories and tips!

Thanks for reading.

Click here for an article that talks about the dreaded security check point.

www.fromeveryone.com

I received a comment on my last blog post regarding office gift giving. I'm not sure how this person found my blog, but I'm certainly glad she did. The founder of www.fromeveryone.com shared her personal experiences and solutions to the ever-tasking group-gift-giving dilemma.

I visited www.fromeveryone.com to see what it was all about. This web site, though charges a small fee for usage, allows people to organize a group gift seamlessly. I actually didn't order/execute a gift but the web site seemed very intuitive. I urge you to share this with your colleagues and consider it the next time you need to organize a group gift. This would be great for group wedding, shower, office, birthday, anniversary, Christmas, and any other holiday gifts.

Check it!

Happy group-gift giving readers.

Group-office Gifts

This topic was a request by a friend who frequently has office parties where her department is asked to financially contribute to a group gift. For anyone that has worked in an office environment you know exactly what we’re referring to: wedding and baby showers, significant anniversaries and birthdays, retirements, and possible deaths are all reasons for coworkers to give a group gift.

While these are certainly important events to celebrate, and is a sign of respect for the office to acknowledge these personal-life happenings, they can add up. The size of the office is key to considering how much/often these instances can comfortably take place. Large departments may find themselves having parties more than once a month. You can imagine that this could become an expensive practice for some, especially those lower on the totem pole (sorry for the corporate slang…it is a habit I’m trying to kick).

Peggy Post does speak to office gift buying extensively in her book, “The Etiquette Advantage in Business,” second edition, but doesn’t get too specific about setting contribution caps. After reading Peggy’s advice on the broad topic I came up with a few guidelines you can take back with you.

Group Gift Guidelines:

• Create a committee for your department/group that is in charge of organizing these types of events. This committee will then communicate to the greater group the details.
• Set a specific dollar amount for the group-gift contribution (I recommend $5 and with a $10 limit).
• If you are doing food items either use a portion of the gift money or ask for the committee to have a corporate budget for which this can be funded.
• Committee should buy one card for all monetary contributors to sign.

Following these guidelines will set a standard for the department so no one feels like they are getting more or less than the next person. Also, one committee in charge usually takes away from anyone being “forgotten.”

If you are closer to someone that is facing their life milestone you can either contribute more than the asked donation or you can get them a gift separately. If you are someone’s direct boss or they are your number one client etc., getting them a separate card and/or gift is appropriate. On the flipside, if you don’t have a relationship with gift receiver, don’t feel obligated to give. If you do not contribute, do not partake in the food and drink portion of the celebration.

What is an “appropriate office gift” is a whole other topic that we will touch on another time.

Please share your thoughts on office-group gifts and experiences.

Engagement Parties

We were recently invited to an engagement party for good friends of ours in Chicago. This of course sparked my interest as a blog topic. Despite being a Professional Bridal Consultant, I myself have only been invited to two engagement parties. I’m still trying to wrap my arms around the Midwestern custom of engagement parties, but considering I’ve only been invited to two then I’m beginning to think they aren’t as popular. Hailing from the northeast (tri-state area N.Y., N.J., Conn.) I know that the custom during the engagement period is to actually send a gift. When my husband and I got engaged we got some very nice gifts from the east coast group, while the Midwest side wanted to throw a party. Readers, where are you from and what is your regional custom?

Before attending the most recent engagement party, I had to pull out my Peggy Post books to read up on what is the proper practice for throwing engagement parties and attending engagement parties.

The hosts. According to Peggy the bride-to-be’s parents usually host the engagement party, but any family member or friends may do so. When family lives in different parts of the country parents of the bride and groom may host separate parties in their hometowns.

What type of party? Cocktail and dinner parties seem to be the most popular, but there is no standard format. Sometimes, engagements are announced at surprise parties. Casual brunches to formal receptions, all are possibilities as long as it fits the couples taste.

The guests. Generally the guest list is limited to family and good friends. The size of the guest list is up to the hosts and engaged couple, but please keep in mind that whoever is invited to the engagement party should be invited to the wedding. Actually, it is in bad taste to invite people to any type of pre-wedding event and not invite them to the actual wedding.

Invitations. Any type of invitation is acceptable, depending on the type of party. The more formal the party, the more formal the invitation. Email invites, postcards, and simple emails are all options these days.

Gifts? Do you bring a gift or not? “It depends” is the answer Peggy gives us. Gift instructions are not to be included on the invitation, but if the couple feels strongly that they would not like gifts they can spread that by word of mouth through the hosts. Ultimately, your decision should be based on your local custom, your relationship to the couple, and your budget. Often close friends and family members do give a gift. An engagement gift is really a good-hearted gesture and does not need to be expensive or elaborate.

Ideas for engagement gifts:

§ Picture frame (wedding themed if possible) with photo of couple that you took

§ Wedding Planning/related book(s)

§ Gift card to couple’s favorite restaurant

§ Bottle of wine/liquor

§ Cookbook

Opening gifts at the engagement party is not appropriate unless everyone brought a gift to the party. Reminder that if gifts are received a thank you note must be sent, despite having thanked the couple at the event. Reminder: send that thank you note promptly after the party. If a thank you is sent too late then it becomes lackluster.

Tell me about your engagement party experiences and local customs.

Tipping for Taxis and Such

This topic was a request by one of my readers. Thanks to my readers for sending in requests, that definitely is a great way to get your questions answered.

I can’t remember my first taxi ride but I know it was when I was a teenager. My parents never took taxis in NYC because it was too expensive. We walked or took the train/bus when we could. Taxis are costly, but now that I live in Chicago I take them all the time. On a recent trip to NYC I was amazed at how frequently locals took them to get around too. They sure do add up and remembering to tip the driver is important. I usually round up the total amount to the nearest whole dollar and then add an additional dollar if I’m feeling generous and happy with my trip. I was curious too as to what Peggy Post had to say.

A tip to a taxi driver is generally about twenty percent of the fare, but in large cities you should tip a minimum of $1. If a taxi driver helps with your luggage or packages, a slightly larger tip is always in order; in general, add fifty cents for each bag. Try to avoid using big bills, especially during short rides.

For a car or limousine service, the easiest way to tip is to tell the service to add the gratuity to your bill; do it when you request service. In larger cities, the standard tip is about twenty percent; in smaller cities, fifteen percent. When a gratuity is included in the fee, there’s no need to tip more.

A tip for you when traveling by cab/car service to and from airports and to downtown areas is to ask how much it costs to get to that destination. Usually there is a flat fare to the city’s major airport or downtown area and if you don’t ask they could make up a higher charge and take advantage of you. If there is a meter in the cab, make sure they turn it on. I’ll never forget all the gypsy cabs in Orlando, Florida charging a variety of rates for the same distances day after day. Be aware and also know where you are going if you can. This day in age a lot of people have maps accessible on their phones. Take the time to look up where you are going and the general route to get there. If you’re distracted and looking like you don’t know where you are going then that driver could easily take you around circles for a good $10.

When I enter a cab I usually suggest a route to the cab driver when I enter and they usually have another suggestion – we compromise then move one. The driver now knows I know where I’m going and won’t take advantage of me…even if I really have no idea I say the cross streets and exact address and pay careful attention to the roads which they are taking.

Be a smart traveler…know where you are going and of course do no forget to tip.